Quarter Life Crisis

One day as I was scrolling, I thought, “I could be that girl… if I really wanted to”. You know that girl, who has a five-to-nine morning routine before the nine-to-five workday. She works out daily and walks 10k steps. Maybe even that girl who has a personal brand with an aesthetic that transcends social media and consumes the small details in everyday life. But, is that me?

A moment of honesty

Like many others, I went through a period of self-discovery during the pandemic. In January 2020, I deleted most of my social media apps. I wanted to remove the distractions to strengthen my values and relationship with God. I joined a small group and became involved with a church. I started this newsletter as a way to reflect on all of it. My efforts were fruitful, and I gained confidence in what I truly believed.

On the other hand, I purged many clothes from college that did not fit my idea of the lifestyle I should be living. I stopped doing makeup in an attempt to find beauty without it. I did not think I would be going out then or in the future and I did not want to draw attention to myself.

Of course, I have to give myself grace considering no one had an idea of what was happening in the world. I was slowly figuring out how I wanted to show up in the world. I knew I wanted to reflect love and light in all aspects of my life.

Three years later…

At 25, I’m still left thinking, who am I? How do I want to show up daily?

I am multilayered.

I’ve discovered I enjoy taking pictures, editing, and posting them. I love combining videos into a TikTok or reel. I enjoy making graphics on canvas and procreate. It is all a creative outlet for me. Yet, I have other creative outlets like watercolor, embroidery, and this newsletter. I am constantly trying new hobbies and I don’t have to just stick to one.

I love going out, but I also like staying in. Happy hour is a sweet spot, and I have a long list of bars and restaurants I want to try. My favorite feeling is calmly getting ready with a video playing in the background. I enjoy finding the perfect hair, make-up, and outfit combo. I recently dyed my hair purple because I wanted to since high school. My favorite color has always been pink, but maybe, it is gradually turning green, like color of my daily matcha.

I can say, begrudgingly, that I enjoy slow burn over two days after a Solidcore class. Running the Broad Street Run was such a fulfilling accomplishment that I want to do it again. Those two activities are when I feel the strongest.

I find purpose in my work, but I also have a range of career interests. I could see myself in many jobs. Though, in every position I can picture, I plan to lead with a people-first mindset. I still strive for community, though I’ve gotten exceedingly worst at texting (I'm working on that, I promise).

I still have a firm foundation in my faith and I will always continue to seek God. I am grateful for the time I spend to build that foundation.

I’m realizing, I don’t have to be just one thing and have just one niche interest. I can continually define who I am.  

Throughout the years, the same sentiment is true: I am slowly figuring out how I want to show up in the world. I want to reflect love and light in all aspects of my life. Every day I want to be my best self.

Thank you for being on this journey with me.