Ephesians 5:21 - Transformation Church
I usually listen to Transformation Church after the sermon has been posted to youtube or on their podcast. I wanted to take the opportunity to watch the full service on live stream. I was too late go see their worship but caught the sermon right as it started. I thought I was going to listen as I took a shower, but I quickly realized I had to stop and take notes. Here are my notes for “Single and Stuck” preached by Pastor Rich Wilkerson on June 28th.
Background: Transformation Church is currently in a series titled “Relationship Goals Reloaded”. This message was preached to give encouragement to those who feel stuck and frustrated in their singleness, but there are many aspects that anyone in any season (single, married, dating, divorced, etc.) can relate to.
Anchor Scripture
“And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”
This is the model for Christian relationships and the goal we should be striving for as we date. Pastor Wilkerson made it clear, this is not what currently popular, but if we are to live by God’s standards we dont do so by doing what’s popular. The high-level points of his message to help focus on godly relationships are the following and my added commentary / what stuck for me is in italics.
Focus on me
The only person we can change is ourselves. You are walking in dangerous territory working in the mindset of dating someone to change them.
Sure people can change, but we have to work on ourselves since we are the only ones we have controll over. Also, the saying “you cant through bricks in a glasshouse” applies here. Who am I to say I can change someone when I have work to do on myself. There are many ways I’m no better than the next person.
Be the minority Bc the majority is overcrowded - Faith over non believe
There’s beauty in purity
Know your worth, we are made in God’s image, specially designed by Him. You need to carry yourself that way.
Quit conforming to the word but be renewed in the word
Healthy transformation starts with the mind - Proverbs 18:22
This one hit the hardest for me. Popular culture rules our society. This whole message would be unpopular because simply from the verse saying wives submit to your husbands. This is a good reminder that I don’t want to look like the rest of the world. My goal is to look like Jesus and by doing that I have to be comfortable in the minority. Wilkerson made it clear, as women we have to be worth dying for (as men were encouraged to view their relationships like Jesus and the church ), and men have to be worthy of submitting to (also needing to be in full submission to God). THere’s no way either group can do that if we’re living to society's standards.
Break up
Breakup with the mindset, perspective, resentment, your past.
This one is simple. The easiest thing to see is a person we might need to break up with, someone who is holding us back. Often times its not just a person it can be a mindset, old baggage, resentment, trust issues, or addiction. Just like a person, those things can serve as damaging obstacles in the way of personal happiness and happiness with another person.
On a personal note: There are so many times I’ve conformed to the majority in my personal lifestyle and dating life. I didn’t hold myself to a high standard and went along with what was popular. I know now, that’s not how I want to live my life. In actuality, walking with the crowd leads to destruction… for the highway to hell is broad (Matt 7:13). My reality is getting comfortable with being the minority.
Watch a clip for yourself! I promise its worth a few minutes of your time. The full sermon can be found here.