Confronting Fear...Again? - A Little Light No 10
I hope you are having a wonderful Sunday! We have reached the last month of 2020. December is a time of hope and joy. A time when we start planning for the new year. We reflect on our year, to make changes to the next one. I love the turn of the new month because it feels like a new opportunity to find a focus and readjust. It is a good reminder that there is always time to readjust.
So, let's jump into a conversation I had a few times this week.
I don't consider myself particularly anxious or fearful. I've never had issues making new friends. I think as an only child, I wanted friends to make up for the siblings I did not have. In college, I was able to stand in front of large crowds and host events, not too worried about what others were thinking. Both took some getting used to, but neither paralyzed me in fear.
Last week, I reflected through a Bible App plan about anxiety. I realized some things did make me anxious to the point of procrastination. For example, reaching out to someone professionally, sharing my accomplishments, or telling folks what I'm working on. Like in the last newsletter, thinking about the long term future frightened me out of exploring the opportunities.
Truthfully, I almost put off creating this newsletter out of fear. I was so confident in the idea, but sharing it was (and still is) something that made me quite nervous. I had a variety of different doubts in my head. I thought: Who am I to share? Will people even read or care? Or would they judge what I'm writing about? I still feel that way at times.
If a friend came to me with those same doubts, I know what I would tell her. "Girl, your perspective is valid and you never know who else might be experiencing the same. It is courageous to be vulnerable and self reflective. Please don't care about what others think, just do it." In fact, many of my friends told me a variety of the same advice.
We are our own worst enemy. We are quick to talk ourselves out of doing something way before anyone else would. When I was talking to a friend about this, she sent me an episode from the Therapy for Black Girls podcast about the importance of self-compassion. In our culture, we talk a lot about self-care, focusing on talking mental health days, relaxing activities, and freeing our minds. Those are all important, but what happens when the activity is over? We tend to give compassion to people in our surroundings and rarely give ourselves the care that we give others. The thought that stuck out most from the podcast was, "Do you have your own back?"
I’ve tried to practice self-compassion by staying grounded in this verse: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear or timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7 It is a truth that will never fail me. This week I want to intentionally push my comfort zone, extending vulnerability not only in this newsletter but in other areas of my life.
Take this with you:
Like I said last week, sometimes we fill our minds with lies. We can be our own worst enemies, but we have the ability to change that. Be a friend to yourself and ground yourself with the truth. Do you have your own back? Think about the times you've second-guessed yourself and what you would have said if a friend needed advice about the same situation. Whenever I need extra encouragement, I turn to 2 Timothy 1:7 and Matthew 5:13-16.
Please comment below if you have any thoughts or any answers to the questions I've asked. If you aren’t already subscribed to receive this message in your email, you can do so using this link!